The problem: The student with attention deficit disorder (ADHD or ADD) consistently neglects turning in homework or long-term projects, even though she claims to have completed the work.
I have a 13-year-old son who is a forgetful kid. I ask him to bring notes from school and he forgets them. He forgets his homework, he forgets to bring messages from school, he forgets he has a test, he forgets we have plans in the family.
I talked to his teachers and we agreed to communicate between us but he keeps forgetting his communication book. I feel lost and I do not understand why he is so forgetful in things that are important and remembers his computer stuff well.
When kids keep forgetting things that are important to them, this is the sign there is a memory problem. When they forget things others want from them, this is more of an indication of lack of motivation.
Most boys rely on their parents, usually their mothers, to keep them organized until their brains develop enough to be able to manage all of the tasks they are required to do for schools. The typical boy is likely to be forgetting things up until the age of fourteen or fifteen, though he is likely to know where every card in his baseball card collection is or where his video game discs are. Boys are more organized when it comes to personal items that they really value. Around sixth or seventh grade, moms get tired of doing all of the organizational work for their sons and they tend to let their middle-school sons "face the music" with their teachers. That normal developmental model suggests that it is too soon to let your son "suffer the consequences."
However, your situation is not quite typical. Driving to school to take him his homework once or twice a week is too much. If you are too willing to bail out your son every time he forgets something, he has no motivation to even try to get organized. I think you should start telling him that you are no longer willing to make special trips to school and then help him get organized before he heads in the morning.
If he takes the bus, you should have a checklist by the door where he departs. Before he opens the door you and he should go down the checklist: lunch ("check!"), lacrosse cleats ("check!") homework for math ("check!"), homework for language arts ("check!"). Make him show you that he really has every item before he leaves. This is hard work, and it will take organization on your part, but I believe in the long run it will help him internalize the organizational habits he is going to need in the future. The emotionally difficult part for you will be if he manages somehow to forget something even though you have gone through the checklist with him. You will need to tell your upset son.
great articles I am suffering the same problems with my son, I strongly belive he is making excuses, as we speak he is going for his 2nd D isciplinary Hearing for the same offence of not doing homework and not completing hios work.
What you should do is take his lunch to school, go to the office, have the office call him out of class, and you reprimand him in front of the office and his peers to stop forgetting his lunch. Maybe if that happens a few times he will not forget. And if that does not help then your child needs to see a doctor.
Is the homework getting lost at home? Is the homework getting lost in the bottom of the backpack or the bottom of the locker? Is it in the proper notebook, but forgotten in the process of settling into the classroom?
Try different ways of organizing homework to find the one that best suits your child. Some students do best with a separate homework folder so that everything that needs to be turned in is organized into one place. Others do better when they organize the homework by subject.
Our very good and well behaved student is suddenly "forgetting" homework at school. She's claimed she's rushed, forgets, and has too many things to remember to bring home. At our last parent teacher conference the teacher called her a "dream student" and said she wished every conference could be like ours. She had nothing but good things to say about our child being a great student and wonderful person.
She already has to fill out an "assignment notebook" in class that lists all of her homework. So she KNOWS what she has to bring home. But she keeps claiming that she's rushed when it's time to pack her bag and get her homework.
My son was like that too. He has difficulties with focus sometimes and is a daydreamer and easily distracted. He would forget his homework things DAILY. So I would park the car and he would go back for them. He almost always remembered what he needed in the parking lot, because I would stop, get his attention and ask him directly "what is your homework today?" then give him a minute to think. Then ask him "do you have ___?" (the mathbook or worksheet or whatever the assignment was and its corresponding book). Then he'd go back and get what he needed. He always told me that it was too rushed at the end of the day. All the kids were trying to get their things out of their cubbies at the same time. And I am SURE that the teacher was probably talking over that chaos at the same time reminding them of this or that or the other thing.
Well, when he is focused on trying to remember his math homework, and she is talking about the vocabulary quiz tomorrow and the memory work for Friday.. which part is he going to actually remember to pack?: None of it. He couldn't focus with so many thoughts/inputs and the chaos all at the same time. That was 4th and 5th grade.
That is what my Daughter, since Kindergarten... has done and is their school classroom routine too, prior to when the day ends, at school. Meaning, they have a class assignment book/planner to write down their daily homework... they have various 'folders' per subject for homework, and worksheets, reading, etc. to bring home.
USUALLY, the Teacher cues the kids... and has a time block near the end of the day... in which the kids get their things into their go-home folders and backpacks. AND, the kids have a "mailbox" in which to get their papers/things to bring home. So it is organized that way, per my daughter's classes. The kids know exactly what goes home, what/which folder etc. At this time, the Teacher also reminds the kids, of other matters. On the chalkboard every morning, the Teacher also lists.... what that day's homework is.
Maybe, your daughter does feel 'rushed?'Does the Teacher allot a certain time... for the kids to get their go-home things together???Or maybe, it 'is' rushed.... when she is getting her things because there is not enough time???? Also, in some classrooms (I have seen this myself), some Teachers do not have an organized routine, of when/where the kids get their go-home things and homework... and the kids are pretty much ALL in a tizzy and like a bunch of loose ants trying to get their things too, all at the SAME time. So, some kids... do get... pushed aside in the mass crowd of the other kids.... or they get in the way of the other kids.... and it makes the other kids "late" in getting their things. **Adding This: SOME Teachers, will be so organized... that, when it is time for the kids to get their go-home things & homework... the Teacher, (to avoid too many kids doing it all at the same time in a horde)... will, have each table grouping, one by one, go and get their homework/go-home folders & things... in a staggered manner. So that, not ALL tables/kids are getting their things at the same time. Hence, avoiding havoc, in the classroom. 3 out of 4 of my Daughter's Teachers, were that way. Since she has been in Kindergarten and in now in 3rd Grade.
Let her know that if she doesn't have her homework, you will make some up for her like, cleaning the shower, picking up the dog poop, cleaning and straightening the kitchen cabinets & drawers etc... After first time or two, I bet she doesn't forget it again!! my 5 year did this too and after I had her clean a toilet, she's been cured! Amen & hallelujah!! LOL. Hope this helps.
First let the teacher know, and ask her if she can be allowed to get the things she needs for her homework on her desk before dismissal. Make sure she has a homework folder to put worksheets in. This should help. I am sure she is not the only child that has this problem in the class. I am a teacher and I use to teach kindergarten so I know how hard it is to get all those little people ready to go home with all of their things so I would start early making sure they had all the things they needed. Hope this helps.
Talk to the teacher to see what's going on. Maybe she's noticed something but didn't think it was major enough to contact you. Also maybe remind her in the mornings before school not to forget her homework. I agree with the little reminders. I have a first grader and he used to forget things at the beginning of the year and he's gotten so much better. Daily reminders and teachers also remind the class. Also praise when they do remember.
Contacting the teacher is a good idea only if all other tactics have failed and your child is still anxious or even ambivalent. You may find out the whole class is struggling with this organizational skill. There may be a change in procedure the teacher can instill to streamline the process. Adding a note on the board every day, an extra minute to pack up, or combining all subjects into one folder for all homework. Teachers want to help but their time resource is extremely limited. They need your lead and behavior to demonstrate your expectations of your child.
The third grade seems to be a big growth transition in students, as teachers expect more independence so be patient. Lower-grade students still need consistency practice and an older grade child may need to be given extra grace. Above all else, remember this is a phase, just like every other stage of parenting. If you are consistently mirroring a growth mindset, an opportunity to get creative with those budding critical thinking skills will instill confidence in your students when they master the responsibility of turning in homework. 2b1af7f3a8